Friend Material

Specific Disappointments

2009-10-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

SPECIFIC DISAPPOINTMENT #1:

The disappointment felt when you get your tea/dinner/beer ready, put the dvd in, get comfortable on the couch and then the dvd skips.
Similar to what happens when you are really excited to share some music with a friend and you put a cd in and it doesn't work.

Favorite New Word

2009-09-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

Hungry + Angry = HANGRY!!!!!!

Weakend

2009-09-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry, it's too rainy outside right now to blog.
Grumpy pants Monday.

My weekend, much like our current weather, was cloudy with moments of awesomeness. Surprise parties, The Informant!, late-night 3 crow and an awkward Mad Men viewing at the Capitol Grille.

Note: You know who doesn't like watching Mad Men? Old guys who love football.
You know what makes that okay? $5 Gimlets and lobster corndogs.

Look Blogward Sarah

2009-09-18T08:56:00.001-07:00

I am like the Barbra Streisand of Blogging. You think I might be retiring, you resign yourself to the fact that life might get a little less colorful, and then BLAM! I'm back from a place that I never really left.
But isn't that sort of the beauty of the Internet? That amid all of the constant self-examination and oversharing, I can still believe that some sort of mystery may be maintained. I can even convince myself that all 10-15 of my readers have been wondering what I've been doing since my pilgrimage away from this blog. And that they possibly believe that I have both a REAL LIFE and a INTERNET LIFE. Even though, let's be realz, my internet personality sort of sucks.

So a quick update:
I read a lot of books
I went to work
I gchatted with all of my genius/hilarious friends
I planned some trips

Yeah, that's it, sheesh, I'm a crazy train!

And (amidst all of this funrunnery) I totally let blogging slide and just ignored it and didn't think about it and stopped answering its phone calls and changed the radio station every time I heard "Horse With No Name" because that was OUR SONG.
But I've returned. Partially because lots of people told me to, partially because I could really use a book deal right now. *

*Possible Book Deal Getting Ideas
-Why You are Fat Wrecks (pictures of badly assembled fast food)
-Music City Sartorialist (pictures of tourists and musicians)
-Dooce Deuce (mostly snark, I would have to have a baby though)
-LOLRats (captioned vermin)

Of course there's also this pressure to be funny, but let's be honest Adorably Small Readership, you know I'm not really funny.
I'm all talk. Really I'm prepping my art installation about the Holocaust and writing poetry comparing my childhood to the Bubonic Plague (working title: Ring Around Suburbia, We All Fall Down).
So we'll see how this goes. I'll probably just write about books all the time, although I don't know how many people really want to know my opinion about Stephen King.
(Yes, I just read The Stand. Yes, it was awesome. I am only slightly embarassed about this).

Also, once in awhile I will step back from all the silliness and make some insight about the HUMAN CONDITION that will knock your socks off.
But once you've stopped cathartically weeping, please put your socks back on because I know I can never focus if my feet are chilly.

2009-08-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

"Other people, so I have read, treasure memorable moments in their lives: the time one climbed the Parthenon at sunrise, the summer night one met a lonely girl in Central Park and achieved with her a sweet and natural relationship, as they say in books. I too once met a girl in Central Park, but it is not much to remember. What I remember is the time John Wayne killed three men with a carbine as he was falling to the dusty street in Stagecoach, and the time the kitten found Orson Welles in the doorway in The Third Man."

-The Moviegoer

Love

2009-07-24T12:04:00.001-07:00

Love these illustrations of craigslist missed connections

New Dave Eggers!

2009-07-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

He has a great interview at Salon where he discusses his new book, Zeitoun. I'm looking forward to reading this straight non-fiction work, since I'm sometimes turned off by his fiction. What is the What is fantastic, but his earlier stuff I'm not that into. It's just a little too self-involved.
But he's writing about Katrina! (I know the exclamation point is inappropriate, but I'm really looking forward to this.)

And, of course, McSweeney's lists will always have my heart.

Heavy MetalBoard Games
- - - -
Whitesnakes and Ladders
Motley Clue
Twister Sister
Black Scrabbleth
Guns 'N Risk
Slaynium
Jenga Priest
AC/cheesi
Hungry Hungry Skid Rows
Steppengories

My Rabbit-Owning Role Model

2009-07-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

"Dusty has a multi-level "bunny condo" in Amy's bedroom, designed and built by Amy's friend, designer Todd Oldham. Dusty can come and go from her condo as she wishes. But she's also free to snooze under Amy's bed, or with Amy."

2009-07-09T09:46:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to accept that, no matter how much I don't like it, "quirky" is my fallback personality.
Perhaps I should have been raised by wolves, instead of Monty Python.

Naming

2009-07-06T20:13:00.001-07:00

If I started a movie blog it would be called "Depressing Movies About Rednecks" because that's all I seem to watch.

2009-06-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

"Imagine if you took the Book of Revelations and snorted it up your nose"

-my friend Cindy on Blood Meridian

The List So Far

2009-06-18T14:20:00.001-07:00

Wait.
Is this my second post of the day?
Yes, miracles still occur. I hope the time/space continuum can handle this.

Just looking at my Excel spreadsheet (so casually I drop it into conversation!) and wanted to list my favorite movies of 2009.
Note: This includes every movie I have seen that is new to me, not just new releases.
To be honest, I did not include the fact that I watched Anchorman Tuesday night or that I watched Crocodile Dundee (the 1st one of course) on Memorial Day. I dismiss the first one b/c I've seen it many many times and the second one because I had like 4 gin and tonics beforehand. Drunk viewing rarely gets on The Spreadsheet.

Aguirre, the Wrath of God
Pineapple Express
Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus
Thieves Like Us
Little Deiter Needs to Fly
City of Ember
Ball of Fire
UP
Easy Living
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai

Nicer Film Titles

2009-06-18T14:03:00.000-07:00

So this is Thursday's "Highlight of the Day" (another highlight being, obviously, that today is Friday Eve).
I realize that it's technically something you Twitter, but since it makes me hate myself and humanity I'll just present it "old skool." Because when you really think about it, my/our/your daily life is pretty boring and I don't think I ever want to live in a world where I ever care what anyone (even Philip Seymour Hoffman) eats for lunch.

Just take a movie title and make it...nicer

I think my favorite titles are Schindler's Shopping List and There May Be Minor Contusions (But On the Bright Side, Look How Much Oil!)

The only ones I've come up with are Courage and Mutual Respect in Las Vegas and Evening of the Living Challenged

Recently...

2009-06-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I was leaving the 5 Spot and sitting in the intersection next to 3 Crow (all of these numbers!) when I saw the car across from me furiously flashing their lights. Assuming, naturally, that they were drunk, I ignored them and continued waiting for the light to change.
Then, some dudes (and yes, they were dudes) at 3 Crow start waving and pointing at me.
My thoughts are:
1. "Guess I'm not looking that bad"
2. "Did I leave anything on my car? No"
3. "They must be drunk"

And then I look at my dash and notice, embarassingly, that my lights weren't on. So I just kind of dorkily waved at those dudes (I think I gave one of them a thumbs up).
Not much of a story, but pretty indicative of the past few months.

Also:
no sleep+Monday ennui+dead kitten in parking lot = worst monday ever

Bookish

2009-05-06T07:21:00.000-07:00

In my effort to make this blog more book related.

What? You didn't know I was trying to do that? Yeah, it's hard to tell because I never ever post. Sorry.

A quote from one of my favorite childhood books, Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli.

Dreams pursued memories, courted and danced and coupled with them and they became one, and the gaunt, beseeching phantoms that called to him had the rag-wrapped feet of Washington’s regulars and the faces of his mother and father and Aunt Dot and Uncle Dan and the Beales and Earl Grayson. In that bedeviled army there would be no more recruits. No one else would orphan him.

The second evening came and went. Maniac never stirred. Knowing it would not be fast or easy, and wanting, deserving nothing less, grimly, patiently he waited for death.”

Kevin Spacey

2009-04-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

I don't even think I consider Kevin Spacey anymore. I feel like he used to be all over the place, but now? Not so much.
Maybe I can blame Pay It Forward. The Haley Joel Osment that broke the camel's back.

Work

2009-04-16T14:35:00.000-07:00

Someone calling about a property just asked if "no pets allowed" also included no fish tanks.

I didn't know how to respond.

Dan Bejar

2009-04-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

"Typical me, typical me.
I gave my cargo to the sea."

"Middle Cyclone"

2009-04-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

Feel so silly posting song lyrics, but I've been listening to this album on repeat for weeks.
And this song just makes me choke up a bit. Such a sappy girl.

Baby why'm I worried now
Did someone make a fool of me
'Fore I could show 'em how it's done

I can't give up acting tough
It's all that I'm made of
Can't scrape together quite enough
To ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love

There were times that I tried
One for every glass of water that I spilled next to the bed
Retching pennies in a boiling well
In a dream that at once becomes a foundry
Of mute and heavy bells
They shake me deaf and dumb
Say "someone made a fool of me
'Fore I could show 'em how it's done"

It was so clear to me
That it was almost invisible
I lie 'cross the path waiting
Just for a chance to beA spider web trapped in your lashes
For that I would trade you my empire for ashes
But I choke it back
How much I need love

Currently Reading

2009-03-25T07:42:00.000-07:00

The Braindead Megaphone by George Saunders

I've only read his fiction, but I'm really enjoying his non-fiction. Just funny and absurd and honest. He's definitely one of my favorite modern authors. Everyone should read this book.
He has this essay about reading Johnny Tremain, one of my kind of embarassing childhood favorites (because it was a book for boys, duh) and how it totally changed the way he viewed writing.

"A sentence, Forbes seemed to believe, not only had to say something, it had to say it uniquely, with verve. A sentence was more than just a fact-conveyer; it also made a certain sound, and could have a thrilling quality of being over-full, saying more than its length should permit it to say. A sequence of such sentences exploding in the brain made the invented world almost unbearably real, each sentence serving as a kind of proof."

There is also an essay made up of letters to an advice columnist "Ask the Optimist" where he suggests to a man who has turned into a turkey ("I am a man trapped in a turkey's body. I have dim memories of my life as a human. But then I look down, and there are my wattles!") to meet him on Christmas Day by the "waiting spot," a tree stump with an ax leaning against it.

Love this man.

I Know All the Symptoms for Scurvy

2009-03-15T20:21:00.001-07:00

"Speaking of truth, we have to touch it with a pair of pliers anyway, because we'll never get anywhere close." -Werner Herzog

I've been on a big Herzog kick lately. Or, I'm sorry, I feel like we are frindos so I'll just call him Werner. I wish I could say more about him and his movies, but tonight just isn't the night for that. Starting to admire bloggers who can just write with depth and clarity. (Sadly note that I say bloggers, not writers). I feel like that is out of my reach now and most of my writing consists of lists and watered-down McSweeney's-esque-ness.

All of that being said, creativity shouldn't be something we only give to words, or paintings, or (spare me Nashville) music. On Thursday I made some kick-ass curried chickpeas. So while my pen is dry, the Muse will have to reside in the kitchen. I'll just listen to Neko Case and be thankful that all of the musical ability God had considered bestowing to me was given to that lady instead.

I've only been reading silly books that make me blush and apologize when people ask me what they are. Mysteries and monsters and food, that kind of business.

Worst scurvy symptom: hair follicles begin to bleed

2009-02-06T09:56:00.000-08:00

"But how much better, in any case, to wonder than not to wonder, to dance with astonishment and go spinning in praise, than not to know enough to dance or praise at all; to be blessed with more imagination than you might know at the given moment what to do with than to be cursed with too little to give you -- and other people -- any trouble."-Eudora Welty

These are ridiculously awesome

2009-01-16T13:22:00.000-08:00

More Wendell Berry

2009-01-16T13:16:00.000-08:00

From The Pleasures of Eating

"Eating with the fullest pleasure--pleasure, that is, that does not depend on ignorance--is perhaps the profoundest enactment of our connection with the world. In this pleasure we experience and celebrate our dependence and our gratitude, for we are living from mystery, from creatures we did not make and powers we cannot comprehend."

I realize this blog has become just quotes that I really like.

I am okay with that.

"Lostronaut" by Jonathan Lethem

2009-01-05T18:46:00.000-08:00

"Oh, the lie of weightlessness! We feel we’re floating only because we’re forever falling, as in an elevator with no bottom floor to smash into. And so, inside the elevator, the human party continues oblivious, the riders flirt and complain and mix zero-G cocktails, or chase bewildered zero-G leaf-cutter bees. Outside the ship, our consoling elevator’s walls dissolved, Keldysh and I were two specks falling forever, specks streaming down the face of the night. Ourselves plummeting downward to the gassy blue orb, the gassy blue orb also plummeting at the same mad rate away from us."

-From the New Yorker

2009-01-01T19:43:00.000-08:00

"At its best, the sensation of writing is that of any unmerited grace. It is handed to you, but only if you look for it. You search, you break your heart, your back, your brain, and then--and only then--it is handed to you."
-Annie Dillard

Brushes with fame

2008-12-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

Last night my roommates and I were talking about all of the famous people they have seen in Nashville. And not just Nashville, but any other chance encounters.

They are as follows (in no particular order of importance):

1. James Marsden
2. One of the Baldwins (we think maybe Stephen, but we aren't sure)
This sighting inspired a nice discussion about Bio-Dome, which then started us in on Pauly
Shore. I had to admit my deep fondness for the movie Son-In-Law. It's terrible, but every
time it's on tv I am soooo in. It's like a freaking revelation. She's from a farm! She gets a
makeover! Thanksgiving!
3. Coolio
4. Faith Hill

So everyone has seen a lot of celebrities. But my only genuine celebrity sighting?
This guy
My grandfather loved him. All I have to say is that he's very very tan.

2008-12-08T10:02:00.001-08:00

"How often I have lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home."

-William Faulkner As I Lay Dying

Just for the record

2008-12-05T14:46:00.000-08:00

One of my top pet peeves...

When people have really personal phone calls in public places. Like seriously, that's ridiculous.

There is someone in our very small office lobby doing that right now. Like breaking up with a girl on the phone while he writes out his rent check.

It's annoying. And kind of hilarious.

Work Notes

2008-11-19T12:48:00.001-08:00

1. Our office smells like paint and Lean Cuisines. Which, while a disgusting combination, doesn't seem like a suprising pairing.

Much like my birthday bacon cheesecake. Food should always be funny and delicious.

2. One of our vendors just called me "sugar" and we got in a conversation about how he knows some women really don't like that. And he gets worried saying it b/c he doesn't want to offend anyone. Maybe I am starved for attention, but it doesn't bother me at all. I mean, I really prefer it to Sarah.

However, Sugar Szpak sounds like some hipster-techno-dance-duo. Or like, a Russian prostitute.

John Hodgman wisdom

2008-11-18T13:52:00.001-08:00

I love this man and his books, I'm looking forward to reading his new almanac of fake facts. And there's nothing better when someone you admire for being funny says something of worth.

From an interview he did with Powell's Books in Portland (a city that I think I would feel very comfortable in)

"We worry about the homogenization of American culture. The reality is that regionalism, individuality, neighborhoods, it all clings, it all hangs on...We all say that malls destroy Main Street, but Main Street finds a place to live when the real Main Streets are dead. That isn't to say that I love malls, or that I love the death of Main Streets and mom and pop shops across the United States, but it is profoundly cynical to imagine that malls caused the death of civility in America. It's really there. "

"Nostalgia is the most toxic impulse of all. It's what drives terrorism, on either end of the political spectrum, the idea that there is a beautiful past we can recover if we just force everyone to do what we want, through persuasion or bombs. That has been a fantasy since the good old days that never existed."

Really into cats or "the cheeseburger is not really a cheeseburger

2008-11-18T12:38:00.000-08:00

Perhaps it's not the laughable adorability of LOLcats that pull me in, but their way of uncovering (de-shrouding?) the deep bitter truth about humanity.

"A second major factor in the poignancy of the sad lolcat, I would argue, is the use of animals. The comic form is generally a prophylaxis against sentimentality. By articulating profound feelings through cats and marine mammals speaking garbled English, we're able to shroud genuine emotions in pseudo-irony -- which means those animals can evoke deeper emotions without fear of mockery or cheapness."

Yep, that's what draws me in. Not the adorbness, or the cyootness, but the fact that it is only in the hijinks of these kittehs that the utter futility of life can truly be expressed.

Only they can express the sad I rilly haz.

Tomorrow we'll discuss the Twinkie of Despair that is Stuff White People Like.

The Catorialist

2008-11-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

This just made my day.

"As some of you may remember, I saw Diego outside Petco back in August. It amazing how one's style can change, I almost didn't recognize him when I saw him grooming in London just outside the tents! I really enjoy how drastically his look has changed but has remained true to his nature. Bravo. "

You kind of need to compare it to this.

Other names for cat naps

2008-11-17T13:15:00.001-08:00

1. "Resting my eyes"
2. Playing "Jesus in the tomb"

In a mood

2008-11-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

I've only been at work for 14 minutes and I'm already in a bad mood. I feel sicky and tired and bored and lots of other things as well. I'll just post Wendell Berry quotes and look at pictures of kittens.

"We need better government, no doubt about it. But we also need better minds, better friendships, better marriages, better communities."

"Never forget: We are alive within mysteries."

"We know enough of our own history by now to be aware that people exploit what they have merely concluded to be of value, but they defend what they love. To defend what we love we need a particularizing language, for we love what we particularly know."

"In the effort to tell a whole story, to see it whole and clear, I have had to imagine more than I have known. "

"Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable.
Be joyfulthough you have considered all the facts."

Thanks Mr. Berry

2008-11-12T12:42:00.000-08:00

I just read my first Wendell Berry book and I still have a bit of that literary glow.

You know, when you've read the right kind of book. The kind of book that makes you want to settle down and think about the future. Flip through the pages you just read just so you don't have to turn out the light and go to sleep. Yes, Wendell Berry, if Facebook was slightly more Book and much less Face we would currently be "in a relationship." There have been other authors I've been a little more "complicated" with (Sorry Mr. Capote, I just don't think I'm what you're looking for!), but right now it's all about the Wendster. How can you not love a man who says something like this?

“When despair for the world grows in me, and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be -- I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought or grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”

Vintage photo luv

2008-11-12T12:12:00.000-08:00

A letter from Dennis, the beeper king

2008-11-12T11:49:00.000-08:00

When I'm bored at work I read 30 Rock quotes. It's the next best thing to actually watching the show. Actually, it's not. The next best thing would be a Tina Fey Weekend Update. And the next next best thing would be the cute Tina Fey credit card commercial. And the next next next best thing would be "Livin 'Neath the Law with Jack McBrayer."

So the 4th best thing is the quotes. And here's one of my favorites. From Dennis.

"Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried… I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we’d be together forever. But there’s a new thing called "women’s liberation," which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I’ll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter’s rights. Goodbye and good luck. I'll never forget you. "

I came back.

2008-11-11T12:46:00.000-08:00

I thought I was cool.

And tumblr seemed awesome and I could imagine myself rising to great heights of blog stardom. Finding the coolest stuff, listening to the most perfectly obscure music I could find, just generally being incredible in ways I couldn't even possibly imagine. And trust me, my imagination? It's good, real good.

But it just wasn't for me and blogger has welcomed me back into its cold, binary arms. Because on tumblr people can reblog your posts not just because they love you...but because they hate you and want to make fun of you. And sriusly guys, there is sometimes a lot to make fun of here. Wow, I am kind of paranoid aren't I?

I can think of too many things to write about right now. Give me a minute and I'll sort them out.

Sexify my inconsistent blogging

2008-09-16T09:48:00.001-07:00

A friend of a friend posted this gchat on his tumblr. i think i need to get one of those

Sarah: Apparently the new New Kids on the Block album isn't that awful. Even if they do have a song called "Sexify My Love"

Liz: "Sexify My Love?!"

Sarah: I knooooow

Sarah: How do you sexify something?

Sarah: Put a feather boa on it?

Liz: I don't know.

Sarah: I could sexify my Honda.

Sarah: Sexify my blog.

Liz: Sexify my flip flop.

Sarah: Sexify my desk job.

Liz: Sexify my ipod.

Sarah: Sexify my economic depression.

Liz: Sexify my lolcatz.

Sarah: Sexify my presidential election.

Tyrel: Sexify my B-cell signal transduction pathway

Current Interests/Sudden Realizations

2008-09-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Obviously, blogging consistently is not one of them.

In no particular order...
-pockets
-learning to bake a really good chocolate chip cookie
-french press coffee
-memorizing poetry (oh man, how obnoxious is that. I am so that girl)
-looking back on my life and realizing this might be as good as it's ever been
-developing vaguely creative habits
-I have been reading more books than watching movies, I think my attention span is backwards
-learning everything ever

Language

2008-09-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

Certain words now in our knowledge we will not use again, and we will never forget them. We need them. Like the back of the picture. Like our marrow, and the color in our veins. We shine the lantern of our sleep on them, to make sure, and there they are, trembling already for the day of witness. They will be buried with us, and rise with the rest.

-W.S. Merwin

Self-helping

2008-08-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

I rarely read self-help books because I have huge amounts of misplaced self-esteem.

But Cindy suggested this one about my "renaissance soul." Apparently my soul isn't as indecisive and lazy as I thought. I'm not saying I'm not indecisive and lazy (oh, trust me, I am). Just that I have a lot of different interests and need to find some way to "harness" them. Like I'm this wild Horse of Many Varying Enthusiasms (I have had lot of coffee today, please excuse that sentence). Gosh, today must be Life Lesson Thursday.

It's funny how we still hang onto this theory/idea/dream that there is just one purpose and one job we are meant to do. That finding the perfect job or career will make everything else fall into place. Am I really that simple? I mean, don't we (I mean humanity) contain multitudes? Aren't we all like onions?

I don't even have answers for that.
Note: There are no answers in this blog.

"Most of us have jobs that are too small for our spirits." -Studs Terkel

My name is Sarah...

2008-08-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

Today at work one of our maintenance guys told me I looked familiar.

After taking a few minutes he realized where he had seen my face before.

Did I go to AA meetings?

Because he could have sworn he saw me at one last week.

Yep, I have the face of an alcoholic. Thanks genetics!
At least I look like I'm in recovery.

Mom Advice

2008-07-31T14:47:00.001-07:00

"Oh, and one day you may love your uterus, until then you can hate it. wear sunscreen."
-Cindy Szpak

The Living Dead

2008-07-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

Seemingly overnight, the office I recept has turned into a veritable forest of fake plants.

You walk into our entryway. Bam! Two ficus trees! You open the door and turn around...Two more!
Say you have to go the bathroom. You go to the toilet, sit down and feel something strange brushing against the back of your head. Turning around...Bam! Fake Ivy Plant! It's like a toilet crown of leaves or something. Watching you pee. There is also a basket of fake violets and a little heart shaped box of 6 leaves (petals, shreds?) of potpourri.

I realize this isn't too exciting, but seriously, it's all I've thought about all day. I think those ficus trees are a metaphor for life. Just think about it kids...

Here I go again...

2008-07-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

Just saw Mamma Mia. I think everyone in that movie was drunk. The entire time Meryl Streep was singing I kept saying "Sophie's Choice, Sophie's Choice" over and over.

That being said, I am going to buy an ABBA album as soon as humanly possible.

Quick notes late at night

2008-07-18T23:13:00.000-07:00

It's getting kind of late, I'm on a borrowed computer and I'm still reeling from Dark Knight goodness (sriusly, Christopher Nolan is a genius). And the trailers! Watchmen???

But being back in Louisiana just reminds me how sweet it is to share a past with someone. As much as I love my friends in Nashville, there's just something so reassuring about being around people I've known for years. Friends who have been beside me through all of the different incarnations of myself.

I guess I feel like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut now, just going through the paces. And it's good to have a reminder that I/we do keep changing and that it's often for the better. That I'm going to constantly learn and experience more (whether I like it or not). The things I'm afraid of now won't be the things I fear next year. Mistakes will be made, lessons will be learned and life will continue on as it always has.

So maybe at 24 I shouldn't start collecting cats, or settling down, or nesting. Maybe I should stop believing in certain inevitabilities. Just trust that God knows my future plans will be for a future Sarah. One whose wiser and braver and kinder and smarter.

An afterthought: This sure got kind of Oprah-y at the end. I guess I am deepest in the late hours of the night. And I thought this blog post would be about seamlessly incorporating Harry Potter jargon into everyday conversations! Guess I'll have to save that gem for another day. Night! Quidditch!

The Inevitable

2008-07-09T13:04:00.001-07:00

I have become that person who talks about their blog constantly. Really, I should just put a big sign on my forehead, "obnoxious blogger."
Guess it just seems like a less obvious, more socially acceptable way to talk about myself.

I have also started staring at my computer and laughing and grinning randomly. I mean, I'm not totally alone in my office, but I am (and this is a scary phrase) "alone enough."

And I'm taking this sewing class, and I all I want to do is skip class. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I just always want to not go. I wonder if it's just me, or if everyone is this easily swayed by their immediate desires. Maybe I should have rebelled more growing up? Because I skipped sooo much class in college (mostly senior year). And I enjoyed every minute of it.

Really, there's something about avoiding work (or even a scheduled hobby) that just makes everything seem better. The sky is bluer, food tastes better, friends are much more entertaining.
This cannot bode well for my future.

The Average Olympics: Much more fun to watch

2008-07-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

A few years ago my friend Katie Penny and I had a wonderful idea. A glorious awesome idea. We were talking about it yesterday and this is what she wrote.

"Me and Szpak were talking about the Olympics a few years ago while we watched Michael Phelps' abs win a bunch of medals. We decided that we don't like the way the current system works.

What if, instead of people choosing a sport when they were young, and training for it for years, and then going to the Olympics at the peak of their game to compete against other rock solid abdominal muscles, going to the Olympics was a little more like jury duty? One day, you get this letter in the mail from the United States government:

Ms. Penny,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to perform in the equestrian competition this year. Please arrive at the Nashville International Airport on July 29 with your passport and a saddle. Enclosed find a diagram of a horse. Good luck, and make us proud. -US

PS: Your jodphurs are enclosed.

And you would get this letter and be like, crap. Do you think they'd let me off if I tell them I have a doctor's appointment? I just think the Olympics would be a lot more entertaining if, say, my dad got selected for the gymnastics team, or my brother for that skiing competition where they fly through the air in that stiff leaned forward position for like two miles. It would be, like, a duty of citizenship, like paying taxes. Or like an audit. Or like getting drafted.Think of it. 345 pound men in the 50m hurdles. Grandmothers in the shotput or the pole vault competitions. Think about the shenanigans when people randomly get paired up for the Pairs Figure Skating Competition. Rastafarians and rappers toghether on a bobsled team.

I know what I want: speed walking. I'm praying for my Olympic draft letter for speed walking. Because no way that's a sport, and I think, therefore, that I could really excel at."

Geeky Album List Or Where I Reveal my Soul

2008-07-07T08:20:00.001-07:00

Just reading at the Onion A.V. Club how they've been making lists of the favorite albums, picking one from each you've been alive. They can be albums you liked at the time, or ones that you like now.

Here's the original link

http://www.avclub.com/content/blog/geeky_list_time_pick_an_album_for

And my list.

While you're making this, prepare yourself for intense waves of nostalgia. Also, don't beat yourself up for not listening to cooler music when you were in junior high, you didn't know.

1983- The Police, Synchronicity

1984-The Pretenders, Learning to Crawl

1985-The Cars, Greatest Hits (seriously, this played at my house almost every day)

1986-Cyndi Lauper, True Colors

Note: This was the first album I ever bought. I distinctly remember picking it out at some music store in Jackson, MS. I found it again about a year ago at Grimey's. Sadly, Cyndi's cover of "What's Going On" doesn't hold up like it used to, but I still love it.

1987-U2, The Joshua Tree

1988-Leonard Cohen, I'm Your Man

1988 (honestly?)-New Kids on the Block, Hanging Tough

1989-The B-52s, Cosmic Thing (just because I still have a thing for "Love Shack")

1990-Angelo Badalamenti, Soundtrack from Twin Peaks (other than that, a terrible year for music, I'm glad I was only 7 at the time)

1991-Amy Grant, Heart In Motion (shameless)

1992-R.E.M.,Automatic for the People

1993-Counting Crows, August and Everything After

1994 (now)-Jeff Buckley, Grace

1994 (then)-Portishead, Dummy

1995-Smashing Pumpkins, Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

1996-Fiona Apple, Tidal

1997-Radiohead, O.K. Computer

1998-Neutral Milk Hotel, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

1999-Bonnie "Prince" Billy, I See a Darkness

2000-New Pornographers, Mass Romantic

2001-Ryan Adams, Gold

2002-Bright Eyes, Lifted or The Story Is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground

2003-The Postal Service, Give Up

2004-Modest Mouse, Good News for People Who Love Bad News

2005-The Hold Steady, Separation Sunday

2006-Neko Case, Fox Confessor Brings the Flood

2007-Feist, The Reminder (this was the hardest one to pick, I don't know why, I'm totally up in the air about this one)

Things I like and that I would like to do

2008-07-03T14:10:00.001-07:00

1. Have a Patrick Swayze marathon of Road House, Red Dawn and Point Break.

2. I have started watching the Erroll Morris documentary Gates of Heaven, so far I think it's kind of great. If I'm not too lazy there should be a review of some sorts coming soon.

3. I am really into Mark Bittman, a food writer who writes for the NYT. His food is simple but fancy and his newest list of picnic foods is sort of awesome.

4. I have also become intensely fond of the Best Week Ever blog.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/
I wish they would hire me.

Jumper review

2008-07-02T12:24:00.000-07:00

This is just too funny not to quote. I didn't even see this movie, now I really don't want to.

"Eventually we meet Samuel L. Jackson, who is once again playing his bad-ass self, only this time he's got white hair and a mean streak. (Sam Jackson cheat-sheet: If he has a 'fro and a gun, you're watching Pulp Fiction. If he's limping, you're watching Unbreakable. If he's sweating and bluesy, you're watching Black Snake Moan. If he's wearing a brown robe, you're watching Episode III.) He catches another jumper (you mean there are more?) and stabs him in the chest, teaching the audience that jumpers can be temporarily stopped with electric shocks. As you can guess, this will be important later, so Jackson says, "It's kinda hard to jump with a thousand volts running through your brain." And then, in case it isn't clear that he has harsh feelings toward those who can teleport, he says, "I hate jumpers." We also come to understand that Jackson has religious motivations for this hatred: "Only God should have the power to be all places at all times." Heavy. Of course, Jackson and Anakin must meet and have a little fight. "

-The Onion A.V. Club
http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/i_watched_this_on_purpose_4

Weekend Update

2008-06-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

See? I'm making a joke. It's like SNL, right? Like I'm Tiny Fey, riiiight?
Mondays, doing them wrong.

Friday
-P.M.
-sweet sweet movie goodness
Note: Wall-E tore out my heart, made it into a delicious jam and then spread it onto toast of joy. Seriously, I would review it but my tears on the keyboard would make it hard to type.

You know, the rest of my weekend was kind of uneventful. Some music, read a little bit, got more mosquito bites.

I realized as I got to work this morning that this is a 4 day workweek, oh frabjous day!

Oh yeah, this couple at Bongo Java also told me about their new age-y religion and tried to get me to read this book http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Course_in_Miracles

Note: I really need to figure out how to link correctly in this thing.

4 days in a row? What? A sort-of movie review?

2008-06-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, I haz blogging skillz. You know, it doesn't take much to give me a sense of accomplishment. Watch an entire season of a show on DVD, blog for four days in a row. I'm a simple girl with simple goals.

So I've been watching Naked Lunch, I seem to have a problem with sitting down and watching an entire movie (I blame the breakdown of my attention span on adulthood, when I was a kid I could stare at walls for hours. Of course, I also had an irrational fear of weather, so maybe not so great). So I've been breaking this one up into manageable 45 minute pieces this week. Which is smart, because I think if I tried to watch it all at once my head would explode with weirdness.

What follows is the least helpful movie review ever written.
1. Because I haven't even finished the movie.
2. Because I don't want to give anything away.
3. Because anything I do give away won't make sense when read in the harsh light of blogdom anyway.

It's an adaptation of the William S. Burroughs' novel, which sounds cool, but I will probably never read. Maybe I'll flip through it one day. Burroughs said the chapters didn't have to be read in order, which makes it the perfect book to half-read. Actually a book about opiate addicts and aliens and to quote Wikipedia "a wild, repulsive parade of images and characters that encapsulate the state of the 20th century" sounds like the perfect thing to read while waiting at the DMV or in a doctor's office or at the McDonald's drive-thru. Take that corporate America! Vanquished by the power of the written word!

So basically the movie is the guy from Robocop (Peter Weller) wandering around really fake-looking sets, talking to mysterious women (and men!), typing on typewriters that turn into cockroaches and then going to Interzone (which looks kind of like a really fake Egypt or Morocco).

I know what you're thinking. "Hey Sarah, this sounds like Raiders of the Lost Ark. I love that movie!"
And I would have to agree, they both feature lots of sand and when you squint Peter Weller kind of looks like Harrison Ford. And they are both teeming (yep, teeming) with phallic symbols (thanks again Freud!) The only differences are...
a. Naked Lunch has more drugs
b. Naked Lunch has more homosexuality.
c. Naked Lunch has aliens (however Raiders has Nazis. Nazis and aliens are pretty equal in the realm of film villainy.)
Please understand that I watched Raiders of Lost Ark about 7 years ago and have only seen half of Naked Lunch. I had to Wikipedia both of them. I'm developing a dependency to that unreliable fount of information. But hey, at least it's not roach powder! (You won't get that reference until you see the movie. Sorry, inside joke between me, this movie, and the millions of people who have already watched it).

So in conclusion...Naked Lunch seems pretty awesome so far. I'm a Cronenberg fan anyway, which means I like movies where people make phones out of bizarre aquatic creatures (eXistenz!) and make horrifying gynecological instruments (Dead Ringers!). He's also known (according to IMDB) as "the King of Venereal Horror." Venereal? Okay, that's kind of gross.

But the movie is claustrophobic and smart and funny (I hope you know how I define that word by now). And it has this nice way of doubling back on itself that makes it suprisingly easy to watch. If you have a strong stomach and don't need all of your questions answered, it's a worthy Netflix addition.

Also Nazis=Aliens

And on a good trivial note...
-In the film Weller shoots and kills his wife during a game of "William Tell." You know, the apple off the head thing.
Burroughs? Did the same thing in 1951. Spent 13 days in a Mexican jail for it.
Oh the 50s, such an innocent time.

socks and serpents

2008-06-26T08:55:00.001-07:00

My routine for getting ready for work has...what's the best way to say it? Simplified.

I used to wake up at a decent time, get ready, maybe eat some breakfast. Now I wake up at the last possible moment, shower, get dressed in whatever is clean/handy/presentable and stumble out the door. I drive to work half-asleep, barely noticing the other cars around me. Breakfast? Yogurt if I'm prepared (which I'm not), string cheese most of the time. Nothing like starting your day with coffee and string cheese. Hmmmm. Maybe the most heinous flavor combination of all time. Something about the tanginess of the string cheese...with the bitter coffee...yep, just like vomit. Even if I was starving, if someone offered me a Hot Pocket stuffed with cheese but soaked in coffee, I would not eat it.

So in my haste, which as time progresses, is only getting hastier (as haste tends to do), I forgot to look at my legs this morning. Which was unfortunate. (I am really building up the suspense here! I wonder what's going to happen next! Probably not something that necessitates this kind of build-up!)
As if my legs weren't lovely enough, unshaven and bug-bitten, they also have a new feature. Around my calves are delicate circular indentations, as if woodland fairies had been dancing on my legs in the night. Playing little fairy night games. (That is kind of a creepy sentence, isn't it?)
Note: I'm starting to regret writing this paragraph. Seriously, I don't even have some kind of hilarious skin rash, nothing particularly blogworthy. The socks I slept in just left those weird litte indentations on my legs. And they made me feel silly and childish. That's about it.

It's kind of funny (for the definition of funny, look at my previous post) how much blogging forces you (and by you, I really mean me) to create events out of everyday life. Is this excitement? Is this necessary? Is anything in my life really "blog-worthy?" Am I doing this merely to create some kind of social identity? (Answer: Probably, also because I love parentheses). Oh man, these are questions for another day.

I did have a dream last night about an eel that kept trying to get into my house. At some point it was trying to push through a window screen and I crushed its toes (yeah, a toed eel?) with the window. On a Freudian level, this is pretty similar to a recurring dream I used to have about a huge albino snake that would lay on picnic tables. Oh Sigmund, you would have a field day with this one.

Paiiinnnnn (i almost added an "e" to this word, it's early)

2008-06-25T06:55:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning thinking, "is something (someone?) nomming at my foot?" I look up, expecting, I don't know, the cat, the dog, things that go "nom" in the night?
Oh no, it's just a random sharp screeching pain that is located on my heel. You know, the part of the foot you use the most. The part you walk on, balance on, keeps you from limping. The good part.

It's almost funny (And by "funny" I mean disappointing, strange and oddly appropriate. That's usually what "funny" means in my blog. Make a note of it.) how most of my physical pain is based in my feet. Fractures, broken toes, lots of bug bites (seriously, it's miserable, don't laugh). I almost never get colds, or the flu. Nope, I just hobble around awkwardly.

If I were to be over-dramatic and read way too into it (and I am. and I will) I could say that I'm being supernaturally hobbled. But I think an explanation or an inquiry into that might be too much for my soul at 9:17 a.m.

In other words, blogged two days in a row! Woot!

I also was thisclose to getting the new Sigur Ros last night for free, but I forgot to ask. Also rented Naked Lunch and Dark Victory. I'm excited about both.

Lately...

2008-06-24T08:05:00.001-07:00

Yes, I'm a bad lazy blogger. My life is full of sunshine and unicorns and jellybeans, which I share with no one.
Note: I'm actually not that into jellybeans (at least not the oddly-flavored ones). Seriously, if I want to eat something that tastes like buttered popcorn, I will eat buttered popcorn. I'm a purist that way.

So lately I...
-watched The Hudsucker Proxy. I love screwball comedy because I love the Coen Brothers and vice versa. I could make another list of things I like about it (a sub-list, I guess). But seriously, more people should watch old movies. Sullivan's Travels and His Girl Friday are both more than great.
-have feet covered in bug bites. I don't know what makes me more susceptible to mosquitoes. I'm starting to doubt that it's because I'm "sweet." Scientifically, it doesn't hold up. But in my heart? Sure does.
-bought some shoes that are the best kind of ugly. They are hard to explain, but let's just say that if you ever need someone to defend your fortress from the pagan hordes, I'm yer girl. I will be appropriately shod.

Other than that I'm just trying to relax and chill out a bit. Take deep breaths, that kind of thing. Crystal keeps telling me I should see her acupuncturist. Somehow the idea of someone sticking needles into my skin, sort of ups the stress factor. Call me cray cray, I don't know.

Oh, my hilarious wonderful friend Liz blogged about one of our gchats recently. It's pretty dumb, but makes me smile.
http://lizistwentythree.tumblr.com/post/38801017/thumbs

Keeping a Record

2008-06-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

I always feel like I should be taking pictures, or writing more blog entries. Like I should be making more of an effort to remember what happens in my life and to make those moments more eventful.

But I was just reading something my sweet friend/daughter Jade wrote. And I think it sums up what I feel as well:

"Slowing down to drink this in has been very crucial to my relationship with God. After all, He was never too keen on the boisterous. He didn't send His only son into the world in some loud, public manner; He came to us humbly, as a baby in a manger. If I'm constantly scrambling to make small moments bigger than they are, I am missing out on fully experiencing them. That's why it's ok that we can't take a picture of every beautiful human interaction we witness, record each amazing conversation we have, or even get a video of our favorite musician at a concert when they're standing five feet away. We would miss out on something that was created for us to experience. We must seize every moment, because when it's gone, it's gone."

NYT

2008-06-06T07:19:00.000-07:00

The NY Times gave You Don't Mess With the Zohan and Kung Fu Panda good reviews.
It gave Kung Fu Panda a great review.

Is it bad that I kind of want to see both of them now? Oh A.O. Scott, where you lead, I will follow.

Ye Olde Blog

2008-06-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

I still get a kick out of reading my old blog.
If only for the novelty of remembering myself when I knew less.

http://www.xanga.com/sleepslikeapples

Not exactly sure...

2008-06-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm still undecided about the purpose of my blogging.

I don't really want to go into intense detail about my life, but my favorite blogs do just that. Maybe I feel like my life isn't particularly interesting or noteworthy.

I would like to write more about the media I'm consuming, but I feel like whatever criticism I have will never compare to what I read elsewhere.

At the age of 24, I'm still plagued with the same insecurities I had when I was 14.

So possibly the best and right thing would be to throw such worries to the wind.

Stop making excuses Sarah, just do something.
Say it over and over until it sticks.
Look for inspiration and then create.

List of stuff to remember

2008-05-30T14:17:00.000-07:00

I think I basically use this blog to help me remember things:

1. I should use the words "dystopia" and "militant" more often. Into the lexicon they go!
2. watch Errol Morris documentaries.
3. Write a children's book about places babies should be put in, i.e. those huuuge jars of mayonnaise at Sam's and title it, Baby Don't Belong (this is partially Amanda's idea, but the title is allll mine)
4. learn more about William Eggleston
5. Buy a Joy Division album. This is because every time "Love Will Tear Us Apart" comes on the radio I dance around like an idiot and grin. Theoretically there other songs will cause the same reaction. Even though I know they are all really depressing and shouldn't make me so happy, but they do.
6. Listen to This American Life. I was reading the rage or the scene, whichev, and they did an interview with Ira Glass. I have a little crush. Maybe find out if the first season of the tv show is on DVD.

That's all for now.

lolcats and mcsweeney's, perfeckshun

2008-05-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

Selected Minutes From Lolcat City Council Meetings.
BY CHRIS STECK
- - - -
We'z on ur lawn, fynin' ur i sor.
I can haz lodin' zone?
Stait'z in r skoolz, jerrymandrin' r diztrix!
I haz angree at skaytborderz!
We'z in ur biz, surchin' 4 bak taxz.
Y r kidz duso por on standrdiz'd testz? I blaymz skoolz!
Likkr lizenz ... DNI'D!

Talking about Grandmas Over the Internetz

2008-05-23T11:18:00.000-07:00

This gchat combines two of my favorite things, the prevalence of grandmotherly figures in Amanda's life and Lolspeak.
Has been edited for content.

grammas at teh offus

me: sayin stuffs liek "i bought u diz, remindz me uf u" and "u stayin out kinda late"
"i not wurreed bout u, iz uther driverz i'm wurreed bout"
me: "dat's all yer gonna eet? u iz gonna waste awai"
amanda: o yuh, dey pinch mai arms an say dat too
me: yuh, dat's wut grammas sai

me: u def haz a gramma infestayshun
u haz grammas!

me: oh yuh, i shud make it into a book
"Wut Grammas Say and How They Will Infest Yer Lyfe"
"Teh Gud and Teh Bad"
Furst, teh gud:
1. Tey will bring u free fud
2. Tey will bring u free performunce fleese vestz
3. Unkundishunnel luvz
4. Tell u storeez about back in teh dai
amanda: 5. clips duh cyoopons

me: 6. know were gud deelz can be found (see numbah 5)
Teh bad:
1. Can be noseh
2. Wondrin y u all dressd up (see numbah 1)
3. Alwaiz tryin to find u boyfrindz
4. sumtimez grumpeh cuz tey iz old
5. kissin' dere facez iz sumtymez liek kissin tose rinklee dawgz (sharpay?)...akshully, duzzn't sound too bad
6. drivez slow
amanda: 7. grammas hausiz smelleh time worp.
me: 8. teh Coke at der houze iz alwayz flat
amanda:
good thin
u dohn haz to reech vry high cuz everthin iz made fer small peepul cuz grammaz is alwaiz small. or dey has step stool.
me: oooh gud wun!
amanda: thx! u wuz doin so gud tho, had to try mai best

me: oooh, bad wun:
tey alwayz haz candee, but it iz never vurry gud
amanda: iz alwaiz stuck to duh rapper
me: an dusteh

me: wow, we know lotz bout grammas
amanda: u shud blog abowt et
me: think i will
u reed mai mind mandas
amanda: givin u sumfin tuh do iz mai job.
me: yuh, u iz reel gud at it

10 Favorite Songs (current and not so current)

2008-05-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

Just a short, random list that is always subject to change. Read something about the Fleetwood Mac song, got me thinking.

1. "Never Going Back Again" Fleetwood Mac
2. "Pensando Enti" Devendra Banhart
3. "Just Like Heaven" The Cure
4. "All I Know" Pernice Brothers
5. "I'm On Fire" Bruce Springsteen
6. "I Wish I Was the Moon" Neko Case
7. "Ghost" Neutral Milk Hotel
8. "Wolverine" Sufjan Stevens
9. "Run that Body Down" Paul Simon
10. "These Days" Mates of State (I also love the Nico cover too)

Wow, these songs would make the saddest mixtape on earth.

ooh, i forgot

2008-05-13T14:39:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to be more focused with my movie watching. I've gotten a little distracted by all of the tv on dvd I've been watching for the past few months.
I reconfigured my netflix queue, so I'm hoping that I'll have the gumption to blog more about the movies that I see.
And here are some Pauline Kael quotes, since she is my favorite.

“Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them.”

“In this country we encourage "creativity" among the mediocre, but real bursting creativity appalls us. We put it down as undisciplined, as somehow "too much."

My Weekend with David A.

2008-05-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

I spent my weekend puppy-sitting for this dog.

Oh hai, Apple girl! She is why I don't really need to own my own pet. Since my friend's pets are good enough. And I am irresponsible and my love is fickle.

I also watched almost 7 hours of Planet Earth. I could go on and on about the funny little things about this show. Why don't I make a list?

Planet Earth: Things I have noticed/learned by watching it

1. In the wild, when really bad things happen (i.e. death death and more death) it is immediately followed with baby animals. Tears of sadness caused by the cruel reality of nature? Wipe those away with the downy softness of a baby polar bear!

2. Darkness = danger.

3. As much as I would love my life to be narrated by David Attenborough, the reality of what he might say is kind of depressing. Let's just say that me and majestic snow leopard? Not much in common. Unless you equate navigating a quarter-life crisis with navigating the steep slopes of the Himalayas. Although sometimes I feel like we are both on the edge of an endless abyss...

4. I rarely hunt for my own mountain goat. Unless you count desperately lurking through Nashville-area grocery stores for Mrs. Renfro's Green Salsa (where is it?? they don't even have the little sticker at Kroger anymore! I'm thisclose to ordering from the website). My food is as bland as a month-old frozen bison carcass.

5. Non-carnivorous birds are funny, but annoying.

6. Bears are hilarious. It's like Fozzie Bear in the wild, with shreds of raw trout between his teeth. And huge claws. And a thirst for mammal blood. Wow, I wish I knew photoshop so I could create that picture right now.

7. Stalagmites "might" reach the ceiling. Note: I learned this from Rebecca Fuller. Not Planet Earth. But it's good to know anyway.

I am enamored with this book

2008-05-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

"So much the better. I love the risk. I like it that--try as I might--the outcome is hardly up to me. The plans for the city were drawn on the same table as the plans for war. It promises nothing, and yet it can be inimitably generous. You should stay awhile and get some idea of how it works. Listen to the ship whistles. When you hear them, summer and winter, they become a song, a message. I always think that they're saying, 'Your time is a good time, and though I have to leave, you can stay. How lucky you are to be in the city just before it opens its eyes upon a golden age."
-Winter's Tale, Mark Helprin

the future

2008-05-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

So I was just reading that the Iron Man sequel will be released April 30, 2010.

And it wasn't that I was excited about another one, even though it was aawesome. Really, my Robert Downey Jr. crush is ridiculous.

But 2010??? Doesn't that sound a lot like the future? I mean, 2008 I can handle. But something about having to really recognize that this is a new millenium is just totally blowing my mind guys.

Where's my hovercraft?

Also mindblowing was M.I.A. last night. Sorry for wussing out of 8 off 8th, but it was totally worth it.

Sometimes I sound like such an idiot on this blog. How many times do I use the word awesome? A lot. A lot of times.

oh sweet nothing

2008-05-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

It continually amazes me how such goodness can come into my life.

Good Things this week:
-sweet funny Laura Rockett
-good encouraging words and letters from my wonderful friends in Baton Rouge
-I saw Dan Bejar! I have a crush! He kind of looks like a Muppet?
-Lots of good late night driving with good late night music
-Yes, we can grill (and by we, I mean mostly Michelle) and cook delicious food. And I set a rather fine table as well. i'm sorry, a tablescape. That's my new favorite word.
-Boggle! I don't know why I get so excited about it, because I always lose. Womp womp.
-Even though I've lived in Nashville for awhile, I can still be surprised and happy at the good music that my friends make.

And this weekend will hopefully be full of laziness, and cleaning, and movies. I really really want to see Iron Man. Like real bad.
I've also considered getting another tatoo and I think I know what I want!! woot!

And I'm reading Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin which is just as awesome as I hoped it would be. Surreal and magical. I mean, I could dork out and talk about it for daaaayz.

Velveteen Rabbi

2008-04-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

I've been reading this blog a lot. http://velveteenrabbi.blogs.com/blog/
And the three questions below are some of the best things I've read in a long time.
I love her poetry and there is just something so appealing about the community she lives in.

Maybe because I feel in such a rut spiritually and creatively. I complain and complain about needing focus and drive, but all I do is read and hang out. I don't even know what I want or who I want to be. I don't want to accept the lazy, fearful person that I am. I guess it's just been a disappointing week.

Three questions (three answers)

Who are you? (I am Yisrael.)
Where are you coming from? (I am coming from Mitzrayim.)
Where are you going? (I am going to Yerushalayim.)

Who are you?
I'm Yisrael. I'm a God-wrestler. I'm someone who wrestles with the holy, with the Source of All Being, with my understanding of ultimate reality, and I expect God to wrestle back. I dance with God. I waltz with Torah. I stay up all night grappling with angels, and even if I come away limping, I know I come away blessed. I'm a wandering Aramean, and I'm wearing my traveling shoes. I'm a child of the house of Israel, and my community and I -- and anyone else who hears freedom's call -- are walking into the wilderness together.
Where are you coming from?
I'm coming from Mitzrayim. From the narrow place. From slavery. From constriction. From the birth canal. I'm coming from hard labor. I'm coming from the surfeit of sweetness that lulls me into forgetting the world's imperfections. I've been settling for what hurts, too fearful to risk something new. I'm coming from suffering and isolation. I'm coming from addiction to my work, addiction to success, addiction to separation. I'm coming from "if I stopped working, I'm not even sure who I'd be."
Where are you going?
I'm going to Yerushalayim. I'm going to Ir Shalem, the city of wholeness. I'm going to Ir Shalom, the city of peace. I'm going where talking to God is a local call. I'm heading toward my best imaginings of community and connection. I'm clicking my ruby slippers with fervent kavanah and moving toward the meaning of home. Maybe I'm going to a place; maybe I'm going to a state of mind. Maybe it's an asymptotic progression toward something that can't be reached. Maybe it's the journey that defines me.

Weekend Recap

2008-04-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

Apparently I cannot recap a week, since it would go something like...
-work, work, work
-music
-sleep
-read

Sooooo the weekend, which wasn't really much more eventful

Friday
-sushi
-embarrassing display of oldladyness
-wine
-King of Kong
-not being chumpatized

Saturday
-sleepy, cloudy morning
-Grimey's!
Of course, when I go to a sale there I usually just end up buying not-on-sale items because I get all carried away in the purchasing. Bought the new Bonnie Prince Billy EP, it's pretty great. Reminds me why I listened to him so much in the first place.
-La Hoss
-Aux Choux
-King of Kong (again! 3rd time!)
-I have a crush on Steve Wiebe

Sunday
-wake up eaaarly
-watch the most recent episode of the Office (one of the best, I was worried about season 4 when it started but this one was hilarious)
-grocery shop (at 8 am, what is wrong with me?)
-coffee
-mattress moving
-salmon
-exhaustion

So, to wrap up I had a lazy Saturday and Sunday was long, but now I have a bed that was not once formerly part of a bunk bed. I'm really becoming an adult now.

Weekend Recap

2008-04-13T16:13:00.000-07:00

Friday:

Pimm's Cup!

outdoor eating (hello spring!)

Battlestar Galactica?

music

Saturday:

sleep

I cooked?

bbq

firepit

Sunday:

Beccasabe (see also, Puppetmaster, Ironhugz)

the goodness of cable: Movies I watched this afternoon

-Hiding Out (Jon Cryer? that chick from Mystic Pizza?)

-Blades of Glory

-Happy Gilmore

Things that will always make me laugh

2008-04-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

1. Young Frankenstein

2. There's this story that my mom tells about this pony she had growing up. And the pony would always run away and they would have to catch it...It's a lot funnier when she tells it. Like, there are sound effects and everything.

3. This McSweeney's list (I was just going to put a link, but it's too good)

B A D N A M E S F O R H A M S T E R S .

Seth

Gary

Judy

Joyce

Janice

Sandy Jacobson

The Dude

also see its companion list http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/goodhamster.html

4. There are like 3 paragraphs in Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs.

5. Bad puns. Like really bad puns. So cheesy and bad that I won't even put them on here.

From "The Dead"

2008-04-08T11:15:00.000-07:00

What an absolutely beautiful and perfect last paragraph. I could read it all day.

"A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead."

I think it's the alliteration at the end that really gets me.

I'm in a little reading club, not books because we might be too lazy for that. Just stories and some poetry and whatever else we want to fit in. I'm going to try to post a bit about our current story, I'll have something a little more concrete to say about "The Dead" in a day or so. Other than the above part, there wasn't much to hold my attention. But I'm going to read it again and see what sifts through.

The Weekend: A Recap

2008-04-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to blog more about my everyday life.
For someone who's writing a blog that anyone could read, I feel this intense desire to be private.
And also, my life? Not that interesting. Here are just quick vague recaps. Also probably a list or two.

Friday:
-feathers
-undate
-movie
-dance party

A List of Josh Hartnett Movies That I have Seen: In Descending Order from Not Bad to Terrible
1. The Virgin Suicides
2. Wicker Park (mostly for the soundtrack, the movie was still pretty bad)
3. 30 Days of Night
4. The Faculty
All the rest of them are just too terrible to mention. I mean, seriously, his movies are just...blegh. And every emotion is just squinty. He's just varying degrees of squintiness.

Saturday:
-indian food
-melperk
-McSweeney's
-soups
-birthday
-dance party again

Books I Purchased This Weekend:
-Dubliners, James Joyce
-McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes
-The World to Come, Dara Horn
-The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
-The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro

Sunday:
-coffee
-sunshine!
-more coffee
-more books
-fancy cheeses
-picnic
-various picnic mishaps!
-cell phone death
-headache
-Leatherheads

Things and States of Being that Break Cell Phones
-dogs
-swimming in a pool of beer

LOLSpeak phrases to remember

2008-04-02T13:03:00.000-07:00

Let's just say that there is much LOLSpeak happening in my world of gchat.
Here are some that I just want to remember.

Title of the book Amanda and I are going to write:
Peepuls iz Diffrunt, But They iz Frinz

Name of the clothing and jewelry store I am going to open:
Axesorrys

My new favorite LOLword
wiffout

This was just for my benefit. So I can remember that I am still insanely childish at the age of 24. I can show this to mai kidz.

10 Goals: Mostly Small

2008-04-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

1. Learn to sew. Just basic stuff, alter clothes and make little crafty/gifty things.

2. Subscribe to McSweeney's Quarterly Concern
http://store.mcsweeneys.net/index.cfm/fuseaction/catalog.detail/object_id/B98CC3A0-53FA-4ED6-A771-E788DC9D9396/McSweeneysSubscriptionbrBeginningwithIssue19.cfm

3. Go on a road trip. Preferably somewhere cross-country. There are waaay too many places in the US I haven't been.

4. Throw a theme party.

5. Throw a really good fancy dinner party.

6. Write a letter to someone. Not a "I'm just going to vent about my emotions and then burn this in a flower pot while listening to Sigur Ros" kind of letter. A nice one. Then mail it.

7. Own all of my favorite movies. Force someone to watch them all, especially Sullivan's Travels. They will then tell me how amazing and wonderful it is. Gloat.

8. Create something that I'm not embarassed to show people.

9. Buy Christmas gifts on time this year.

10. Organize my music collection.

McSweeney's lists

2008-03-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

Text Messages That Would Have Been Helpful.
By Jen Statsky

yo Abe, r u still going 2 the theatr 2nite? hve a weird feeling bout it, y dont u and mary cum by here instead? dont wnt 2 talk about slavery all nite tho, its my weekend 2 u kno? txt me back

hey just wnted 2 give the heads up, CC on way w 3 shps, want 2 colonize u. dont giv n unless u think casinos r gr8. txt me back

hey u, horse = greeks. dont let in. did i leave my toga @ ur place? txt me back

wut up Romeo, its ur boy the friar. gave ur girl sum shit, not dead. mayb u could giv it 2 her in her sleep tho lol. brunch tomoro? txt me back

british r cuming, british r cuming, british r cuming. dont feel like goin out 2nite but txt me back 2 let me kno u got this

Increasingly Dangerous Cheeses
by Lucas Klass

Sharp Cheddar
Extra-sharp Cheddar
Jagged Havarti
Ignorant Emmental
Surly Roquefort
Wayward feta
Infectious Gorgonzola
Belligerent Gouda
Felonious Swiss
Recidivist Brie
Knife-wielding pepper jack
Knife-wielding-zombie pepper jack
Explosive Camembert
American
Army-of-mutant-tiger-spiders Asiago
Nuclear-brinksmanship Provolone
Gargantuan-asteroid-on-a-direct-course-for-Earth Jarlsberg
Fist-of-God Colby
Nacho

General malaise

2008-03-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sitting in front of a computer all day does dangerous things to the soul.

I have too much time to think. To read about people more interesting than me doing more than I could possibly comprehend attempting. To seethe about people who call with innane questions, unrealistic expectations, and redneck accents (I apologize my Southern birthplace, but sometimes I hate the way you speak). To wallow in self-absorption wondering what (if anything) is going to happen next. Or even worse, fearing that nothing is going to happen next. That my 8-5 will constantly be a coffee cup, a desk, a window.

Could this be adulthood? Just accepting? Oh I don't know if I'm ready for that.
But realistically maybe I am. I mean, I've never been much of a striver. Is that even a word? It feels very Sinclair Lewis, Newsies, wiping the coal dust off my face, moving up from the mailroom. Ish. I just don't know if this itchy disappointment is natural to me or just something I think I should feel. Am I really a self-starter? Is that even a word?

Things I can self-start-
1. Really good at waking up in the morning (almost never accidentally oversleep)
2. Reading books

So it's a really short list.

Guess I'll just get little bits of joy where I've always gotten them.
Sweet friends, good talks over coffee, the little possibilities of spring.

When I went outside this morning it was bright and cool. Reminds me how nighttime can feel so cold and vulnerable but the sun is such a comfort. Amen.

My friends say wise things

2008-03-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

"And so, you see, immigration law is very complicated. Also, illegal immigrants don't live off our health care system. They aren't entitled to any public benefits, other than emergency medical care, and if you can live with people, even undocumented ones, dying in the streets, then by all means espouse a dogma which opposes that. They aren't entitled to social security, retirement, Medicare, MedicAid, or anything else. If their employer is taking income taxes out of their paychecks, they are not getting anything back on returns. They live on property, which means they are paying property taxes, utility taxes, etc. Plus, whenever they buy anything, they are still paying sales tax. So, they get income taxed and sales taxed without getting returns or social security or being entitled to any federal or state public benefits. They are a part of our country and our economy; we need them, they are here, they are still coming, and they are not leaving, we had better find a way to live with this reality amicably and maybe we'd all be a lot happier. Sure, immigration law is complicated, but that's because it's trying to marry these warring necessities--controlling our borders and threats to national security with the fact that this country would not function without immigrants."
-Katie Penny

giggle loop II

2008-03-20T14:23:00.000-07:00

Oh crap, I just noticed that I sort of blogged about this like two posts ago.

And since I've only done 4 posts (not counting the unposted posts that I wrote and then decided were dumb, those will be posted post-mortem).
I really need some new material.

giggle loop

2008-03-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

I mean really, I can't even commit to the blogosphere?
Can't believe I just used that word, wow, that's an obnoxious one.

It's really hit me lately how often I eaaase my way out of commitments, social, spiritual, creative, doesn't matter. I will think of a last-minute way to justify how not to do it.

A Short List of Things (in no particular order) I Have Decided Not to Do at the Last Minute:
-Feb 2007-LSU Grad school (did not turn in application)
-September 2004 (?)-go to Arcade Fire show, subjected to a constant barrage of "This is aaawesome" and "I think I'm crying but i'm so happy!" text messages
-Feb 2007-move back to Louisiana
-Feb 2008-making valentines for friends. result: a pile of overpriced crafty goods i can add to other piles of crafty goods. anybody need 4 yards of plaid flannel? I haz some.
-December 2007-Belmont Grad school (did turn in application)
-January 2002-be a journalist
-October 2003-be an interior designer

So is this just me? I sincerely hope it's not and that I can blame it on some sort of ridiculous quarter-life crisis or emotional fatigue. Or maybe I can just accuse my natural joi de vivre (white people love bilingual children!) for making me so enthusiastic about certain things for about, eeeh, 30 minutes.
Of course I am focused enough to watch 6 hours of Battlestar Galactica. That either says something very good or very bad about me, not sure which.

Reminds me of how Chuck Klosterman writes that he can't change a tire or sew on a button, but he knows exactly when the tv commercial break is going to end.

Oh life skills, I wish I had you.

Note: According to my friend Katie, a giggle loop is when you start to giggle and can't stop and it gets worse and worse.

Misc.

2008-03-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

I would love for all of my posts to be these lovely coherent entries. Where I tell a funny story about the trials and travails of my daily life then end with a quirky, yet thought-provoking idea. Maybe a good quote. Like Jerry Springer, but sweeter and with fewer trannies.

I don't think this entry is going to be like that.

Thing I want. A laser-engraved Moleskine notebook. To write the outline for my novella that will be written entirely in rhyme. Or a grocery list. Whichever comes first.
http://www.engraveyourbook.com/

Things that annoy me.
-When everyone who is riding in a car is talking on their own cell phone.
-The fact that I haven't read a new book or seen a new movie recently and therefore have been unable to update my Excel spreadsheet. Yeah, I'm that girl.
While we're on this topic it's come to my attention that although I say a lot of things annoy me. I can never remember what they are. Just something to consider.

Oh wait, I do have a good quote to end this with. One of my favorites from a book called Oh Pure and Radiant Heart by Lydia Millet. It's about librarians and nuclear war and time travel. She also wrote George Bush, Dark Prince of Love which I definitely suggest reading as soon as possible. It's hilarious.

"How much is learned unconsciously? It must be vast, she thought. We sweep through fields of knowledge and later all we can see is the dirt that clings to the hem of our clothes." -Lydia Millet

Commitment

2008-03-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

I seem to have a lot of trouble sticking with things. I have to admit I'm a planner, not a doer.

Events and projects I have not completed (the short list):
-lumberjack valentines (what will I do with piles of plaid fabric? next year!)
-making cds for Katie and mailing them to her (sorry, hope you don't read this)
-buying my brother some American Apparel t-shirts (but the store, it's so brightly lit, i'm like a retail vampire, flourescent lighting makes me all sizzly and dusty)
-going on a road trip (lots of good ideas, thrift stores, North Carolina, but no driving yet)

But I also love making lists. So I just make these huge lists of things I need to do, display it somewhere obvious where I'll remember, and then stress about it until I throw it away.

But this blog? I'm committed. We are in a relationship. I will tell it my deepest darkest most internet appropriate secrets. I blogged yesterday and I'm blogging again today. Woo! And I'll even update the daily list with something awesome. Daily this will happen. Maybe not at the same time every day, but it will.

I do, blogger, I do.

Tear open my soul and smear it all over the internets

2008-03-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

I feel sort of obnoxious starting a blog.
Doesn't the internet sort of just feel like one huge effort to impress people? By only displaying the best pictures of yourself and saying you are reading/listening/watching something cool/esoteric/French
And interact without actually interacting (bad breath, awkward side hugs, conversations that just end......)?

So in my effort to be the Mother Teresa of blogging, to break this un-ending cycle of coolness, here are a few embarassing things that happened to me or I knowingly did in the past few weeks that no one saw.
At work:
-leaned too far out of my rolling chair and fell awkwardly and slowly to the floor.
Reason?: too lazy to stand

Also at work:
-wiped runny nose on cardigan sleeve
Reason?: when I was little my mom said that was okay as long as I wiped it on the inside of my sleeve so no one would see. Took advice to heart.

At home:
-ate Nutella out of the jar with a butter knife (often)
Reason?: width of butter knife holds perfect amount of Nutella. Safer than steak knife. Pretzels unavailable.

In car:
-sang loudly to 90s alternative rock. Remembered how much I loved the Presidents of the United States of America
Reason?: they are vaguely awesome. i can love them ironically. No one can see me in my car.

I think this is a pretty good way to start my blogging career. Brutal honesty. Yep.