Tear open my soul and smear it all over the internets

I feel sort of obnoxious starting a blog.
Doesn't the internet sort of just feel like one huge effort to impress people? By only displaying the best pictures of yourself and saying you are reading/listening/watching something cool/esoteric/French
And interact without actually interacting (bad breath, awkward side hugs, conversations that just end......)?

So in my effort to be the Mother Teresa of blogging, to break this un-ending cycle of coolness, here are a few embarassing things that happened to me or I knowingly did in the past few weeks that no one saw.
At work:
-leaned too far out of my rolling chair and fell awkwardly and slowly to the floor.
Reason?: too lazy to stand

Also at work:
-wiped runny nose on cardigan sleeve
Reason?: when I was little my mom said that was okay as long as I wiped it on the inside of my sleeve so no one would see. Took advice to heart.

At home:
-ate Nutella out of the jar with a butter knife (often)
Reason?: width of butter knife holds perfect amount of Nutella. Safer than steak knife. Pretzels unavailable.

In car:
-sang loudly to 90s alternative rock. Remembered how much I loved the Presidents of the United States of America
Reason?: they are vaguely awesome. i can love them ironically. No one can see me in my car.

I think this is a pretty good way to start my blogging career. Brutal honesty. Yep.