The Average Olympics: Much more fun to watch

A few years ago my friend Katie Penny and I had a wonderful idea. A glorious awesome idea. We were talking about it yesterday and this is what she wrote.

"Me and Szpak were talking about the Olympics a few years ago while we watched Michael Phelps' abs win a bunch of medals. We decided that we don't like the way the current system works.

What if, instead of people choosing a sport when they were young, and training for it for years, and then going to the Olympics at the peak of their game to compete against other rock solid abdominal muscles, going to the Olympics was a little more like jury duty? One day, you get this letter in the mail from the United States government:

Ms. Penny,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to perform in the equestrian competition this year. Please arrive at the Nashville International Airport on July 29 with your passport and a saddle. Enclosed find a diagram of a horse. Good luck, and make us proud. -US

PS: Your jodphurs are enclosed.

And you would get this letter and be like, crap. Do you think they'd let me off if I tell them I have a doctor's appointment? I just think the Olympics would be a lot more entertaining if, say, my dad got selected for the gymnastics team, or my brother for that skiing competition where they fly through the air in that stiff leaned forward position for like two miles. It would be, like, a duty of citizenship, like paying taxes. Or like an audit. Or like getting drafted.Think of it. 345 pound men in the 50m hurdles. Grandmothers in the shotput or the pole vault competitions. Think about the shenanigans when people randomly get paired up for the Pairs Figure Skating Competition. Rastafarians and rappers toghether on a bobsled team.

I know what I want: speed walking. I'm praying for my Olympic draft letter for speed walking. Because no way that's a sport, and I think, therefore, that I could really excel at."

the future

So I was just reading that the Iron Man sequel will be released April 30, 2010.

And it wasn't that I was excited about another one, even though it was aawesome. Really, my Robert Downey Jr. crush is ridiculous.

But 2010??? Doesn't that sound a lot like the future? I mean, 2008 I can handle. But something about having to really recognize that this is a new millenium is just totally blowing my mind guys.

Where's my hovercraft?

Also mindblowing was M.I.A. last night. Sorry for wussing out of 8 off 8th, but it was totally worth it.

Sometimes I sound like such an idiot on this blog. How many times do I use the word awesome? A lot. A lot of times.